Is your love life going nowhere? Worry not! These experienced ladies got you covered.
Lady Macbeth (Macbeth): To catch a good catch requires making emotionally mature decisions, but it’s still quite simple. All you have to do is help each other murder any and all individuals who may stand on your path to success- that’s always a healthy way to deal with ambition! Nothing impresses a guy more than the OCD you’ll acquire. This may be risky, but the constant threat of danger will keep you thin *wink*.
Helena (A Midsummer Night’s Dream): Just get someone to perform magic on your hubby. This may require a couple of tries on wrong guys, but it works like, well, like magic!
And if that doesn’t work, you can always try to pour some love-in-idleness in their drink, if you know what I mean **double wink**. For more on the subject, check out the Disney Princes’ Guide to Dating!
Juliet (Romeo & Juliet): Love is beautiful. You will know from the moment you lay your eyes on the person that you’re meant together no matter what. Even if you’re the second option. Even if they are from an enemy family. Even if they stalk you and propose after one day. Even if they kill your cousin… And remember, kids: adolescent infatuation does equal love <3.
Viola (Twelfth Night): Let’s talk about the f word: fetish. Fetish for older man. That’s right, girls! We all have it and we shouldn’t be ashamed to come out and say it. Orsino always tells me that a woman needs to get a good, older husband while she is in full bloom, because, honey, you won’t be at your prime forever. Now, to snag that ca$h, I mean, hottie, you must invest in quality drag. This may seem counter-intuitive, but you know what they say: it ain’t love if you don’t help your crush fall in love with another woman, who, in turn, falls in love with you. Worry not; if anything goes wrong, just get your twin brother to come back to life and replace you: tah dah!
Whether you are a believer in love at first sight or that it should take effort, these wise Shakespearean women given golden advice. Make sure to try them and comment below your love story- we guarantee a 100% success rate!
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